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As the disease progresses and his drinking begins to cause real problems in his life, remarkably the denial likewise increases. Drinking sprees can create problems at work, relationship losses, or even arrest for driving impaired, but the alcoholic denies these problems have anything to do with drinking. Some say this is purely a defense mechanism. How is this possible?
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Usually, by the time the disease has gotten to the crisis point, a person with alcoholism has developed a support system of family and friends who unwittingly enable him to continue in his denial. They can display secondary denial, making similar excuses for the drinking and its consequences. Family and friends often protect their loved one by covering for him, doing the work that he doesn't get done, paying the bills that he doesn't pay, rescuing him from his scrapes with the law, and generally taking up the responsibilities he has abandoned.
By doing these things, family and friends are protecting the alcoholic from the consequences of his actions. The alcoholic never experiences the pain caused by his drinking. It's as if they are putting pillows under him and he is never hurt by his fall. Although drinking has placed him in a helpless and dependent position, the alcoholic can continue to believe he is still independent because he has been rescued from his troubles by his well-meaning family , friends, co-workers, employers, and sometimes clergymen and counselors.
The roles these enablers play to "help" the alcoholic can be just as obsessive and harmful as the alcoholic's drinking, which many times is a subject of denial for the alcoholic's loved ones. With these enabling devices in place, an alcoholic is free to continue in the progression of his disease, with his denial intact, until he hits bottom , at which point even the most dedicated drinker must finally admit there is a problem.
But there is no way for him to ever hit bottom when it's always covered with pillows. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Causing deception is a powerful and hurtful tool. It can be very subtle yet deadly. Plagiarism is both stealing and lying. Plagiarism is a very serious act. Some college and graduate students have even been kicked out of school because of it.
I do this sometimes when working on a paper for school and I run out of time. Scott seems to be confused about his plagiarizing.
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Yes, Scott, it is lying. Just because it is easy to do does not make it right. Compulsive lying is often caused by low self-esteem and a need for attention; in fact, the compulsive liar finds it all but impossible to stop. A compulsive liar tells their mistruths even when telling the truth would be easier and better. It is more than ridiculous, it is a tragedy. Have you ever told anyone of these lies?
Do you ever wonder if you can get away with lying? The answer is not really. You may be able to lie for a while, but in the end it will come back to haunt you. What starts as a simple white lie over time can turn into a life-destroying habit. It may be difficult at first, but as Jesus said , The truth shall set you free.
I lied to my wife to hide my feelings for my neighbor who is 23 years younger than me even though there was no intent of everdoing anything with the neighbor. I am a compulsive, conniving liar.
I exaggerate the truth and fake illness. I victimis myself and gossip about my freinds even though I was truly a victim of racism and child abuse. I have severe depression and I am homosexual. I am religious and I have broken 7 of 10 commandments.
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Please help me. This is a little off topic, but what do you call it when A tells B the truth yet somehow makes B believe that A was lying to B?
Even if nothing similarly egregious happens before election day, there needs to be a national awakening that brings women and youth and minorities to the polls like never before to cast their votes in what truly seems like a last chance to save American democracy. Steve Klinger is a veteran community journalist and college English instructor based in southern New Mexico.
Frequently skeptical about the capacity of the written word to inspire activism, he also writes songs, hoping to add the power of music to his topical lyrics. September 28, Lie and Deny by Steve Klinger. Join the debate on Facebook. More articles by: Steve Klinger. New from CounterPunch. Weekend Edition November 08, Friday - Sunday. Jeffrey St. Clair Roaming Charges: Enter Sondland. Kirkpatrick Sale The Incipient Bet. Robert Hunziker Ignoring Climate Catastrophes.